Disclaimers
1. I am not an expert on anything other than being myself. While I do have many experiences in my life, I do not claim to be an expert in any situation. Do not take my words for fact, unless I have described something I have personally experienced.
2. I will be myself in my writings. While generally a loving and caring person, I am also rather abraisive. I am rude, crude, and occationally downright mean. I will not be sugar-coating my writings to prevent offense.
3. I have a sick and twisted sense of humor. I am also capable of much sarcasm. Not all advice is meant to be taken seriously.
4. Common sense. Please use it. If I were to say someone could reslove all their problems by sinking a body in an acidic pond next to a factory, common sense should tell you I am not serious by any means. Please refer to 'Disclaimer #3'.
5. I do not, in any way, condone illegal behavior. I do, however, condone awesomeness in the form of pranks and smart-ass comments. I will probably tell you to be a "smart-ass". I am probably serious.
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It should be mentioned that I am open to questions. If you have a situation you would like my take on, I would be more than happy to oblige!
1. Should you email me, I reserve the right to post the question/situation along with my response.
2. Should I post your question/response, please leave out any identifying information. These would be actual names, ages, descriptions of children, birthdays, locations, etc.. I will not be held responsible should someone find you out.
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Acronyms, Abbreviations, and Terms
I thought it would be helpful to include some abbreviations I will be using:
DH/DD/DS - Dear Husband/Dear Daughter/Dear Son
DSD/DSS - Dear Step-Daughter/Dear Step-son
DuH/DuW - Dumbass Husband/Dumbass Wife
FOO - Family of Origin (your mother, father, siblings, and beyond)
Mom/SMom - Mom/Stepmom
Dad/SDad - Dad/Stepdad
Gma/Gpa - Grandparents
(please assume that, in the presence of an "S", I mean "step"-whatever. Bro, Sis, Cousin, etc.)
IL/MIL/FIL/BIL/SIL/UIL/AIL/CIL/GMIL/GFIL - Inlaws (mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin, grandmother, grandfather)
SO - Significant Other
JADE - Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain
P/A - Passive Agressive
TO/CO - Time-out and Cut-off - A temporary or permanent break from a particular or group of PITA(s)
PITA - Pain in the Ass
Black Hole - If you have to TO/CO someone, generally you become a black hole. Stuff might come in, but you send nothing out.
FM - Flying Monkey. The people who come with news, requests, and demands from or for the person(s) you are trying to distance yourself from. Many times these are pleas to reconcile.
CBF - Cat Butt Face - The puckered look you recieve from someone who is upset.
Unicorn - The magical beings that shit rainbows and skittles as it spreads the misconception that there truly is good in everyone. These people also spread the idea that family should get special treatment because they're related, and that doormat behavior should be maintained "for the good of the relationship".
Doormat - Someone who allows others to walk all over them.
For your sanity, here are my own variations of acronyms relating to family, mainly ILs:
OBIL - older brother inlaw
ODNi - oldest niece, DD of OBIL
DNe - nephew, DS of OBIL
HC - biological mom of ODNi
MG - biological mom of DNe
SIL - biological sister of my DH
BIL - husband to SIL
TBIL - twin brother to my DH
TSIL - wife to TBIL
YDNi - DD of TBIL & TSIL
BFa - biological father of my DD
WBFa - wife of BFa
