Periodically, after accumulating information, I'm going to make a "Things I Wish I'd Been Told" post. Seeing as I've had 3 kids, one 2 months ago, the first edition will be Labor and Delivery! There's plenty of postpartum that will make it in as well. Let's get started!
Labor:
1. All natural, aka drug free, is awesome! I did it with my third.
2. Drugs are your friends! If labor gets to be too much, get the drugs! So what if it means you couldn't claim a drug-free birth? If you're able to relax, labor can progress faster. If you're relaxed, there's less chance of complications. Get the drugs!
3. Epidurals, from what I hear, are your friends! If the other drugs aren't helping enough and you're really in pain, just get the epidural. There is no shame in this. The goal is a happy, healthy delivery. If the epidural helps you get that, then awesome!
4. If you get an epidural, you will get a catheter. Ok, so not guaranteed as some hospitals still do "walking epidurals", however, many are phasing those out. You'll be stuck in your bed, and you will pee through a tube. Be sure you make them wait until AFTER you get the epidural, and make sure they take it our BEFORE they get rid of the epidural!
5. Most women have their water broken for them. It's normal.
6. When your water breaks, labor intensifies. This usually happens shortly after breaking. It's like your body's own form of Pitocin... Be ready for it!
7. If you think you might want an epidural, and the anesthesiologist is ready right then, get it! Even if you're not so bad off yet. If you wait, he/she may not be available when you change your mind. Those c-sections that came up will take precedent over you.
8. Just because you're in labor, doesn't mean your body goes on break. You will still pee. You will still poop. You may even vomit. There's also a good chance you'll do all three at the same time! Whether or not you do these in the toilet is another story.
9. If you feel like you have to poop, tell the nurse. It might be a baby.
Birth:
1. Yes, the head of the crotchfruit DOES come out of that hole!
2. If the head doesn't fit, you will get a c-section no matter how much you didn't want one.
3. When it's time to push you will probably pee and poop. You're pushing, a lot. It happens. Chances are, you won't even notice.
4. You do NOT have to be on your back! They'll tell you that you do, but you really do NOT. If you're able to push easier squatting, then fucking squat! The doctor and nurses will figure it out. Oh, and squatting? Usually it gives your baby an extra 1-3 centimeters to escape your twat!
5. Birth doesn't end with the baby. Remember that thing providing baby with blood and nutrients? That liver-looking placenta? Yeah. You get to give birth to that, too! It's about the size of a small pizza.
6. Dignity goes out the window. If the only person you allow in that room with you is your partner, there will still be 10 people looking at your cooch.
Following Birth:
1. Pee. It happens. All the time. It even happens when you don't think you have to pee. For example, if you sneeze you will pee. If you cough, you will pee. You laugh, you pee! Get the picture? Oh, and it doesn't get back to normal. It'll get better, but you'll still have that sneeze that makes you pee. Panty liners are your friends.
2. Lemon. Clot. ... This is really 'nuf said, however I want you to be fully aware of what this means. You bleed. You bleed a lot! You bleed, many times, for a couple weeks, especially if you're a first time mom! Clots happen. Some are fucking HUGE! Want the gory deets? Read this - Lemon Clot Essay.
3. TAKE THE COLACE!!! If/when the nurses offer you the stool softeners, for the love of all that is Holy TAKE THEM!!! Ask for extras! You'll be sorry if you don't. Oh, and by the way - Even WITH the stool softeners that first shit or two (or five) are going to suck! Those muscles you use to shit are the same you use to shove out that crotchfruit you just birthed. They're not going to want to cooperate.
4. Baby wipes. They're not just for babies. Believe me, they will feel much MUCH better, even after peeing, than toilet paper!
5. While in the hospital, order extra food. Order double entrees! This is how your husband eats for free. You order the entire menu. You just gave birth. They'll give it to you.
6. Depends! They aren't just for old farts! USE THEM! Either that, or you're stuck with pads the size of a jumbo jet and mesh panties at the hospital... Oh, and learn to love granny panties. Anything else will not be all that comfy for a while!
7. Use the coochie ice packs!
8. Motrin works better than Tylenol.
9. Tucks pads! Miracle workers after birth! Even if you didn't end up with massive hemorrhoids, they'll feel amazing!
10. Vaginal or C-section, get up and walk! Do not just lay in the bed. Laying around leads to complications. Get your ass out of that bed, NOW! Yes, you just gave birth. Get up anyway!
11. Sleep! Sleep while you can! Really! If that means no one visits in the hospital, so be it! And YES, it IS ok for the nurses to take your baby to the nursery at night so you can rest. Don't be guilted into keeping the baby in your room 24/7 unless you really want baby there! Believe me, sleep while you can. You won't be getting the rest once you get home.
12. The little squirt bottle? Fill it with warm water before you use the bathroom every time for a week! Use it while you pee. See if you can get a second bottle to have ready to spray off with instead of using toilet paper or wipes.
13. Hemorrhoids. They're evil. They tend to show up after giving birth. Use the tucks pads!!!
14. Don't look at your cooch. No, really. Don't look at it. Wait a few weeks before you dare to glance in that direction. It ain't a pretty sight. It's swollen, red, purple, and everything kind of hangs like the thoroughly used beaver of a BDSM porn star. Just.Do.Not.Look!!!
15. Even if you're "all baby", your belly will still look like a deflated balloon. It takes a while for that to shrink back to normal, and even then there's still some "extra" hanging around.
16. That fluid you keep leaking? Yeah, it can last a while. Like, over 6 weeks potentially. And it smells! It really smells! Even so, do NOT use scented pads. The perfume will irritate your swollen lady bits. Just spray your pants with body spray.
17. You are now a magnet for mosquitoes and other biting insects.
18. Boobs. Lots and lots of boobs. MOUNTAINS of boobs!!! I'm talking about your own, of course. Your As will become Cs overnight. Your Cs will become Fs. Your boobs will become ginormous! And hard. And hot. And painful. It's called engorgement.
19. Breastfeeding helps engorgement. If you cannot BF, DO NOT PUMP! Suffer through it. Cold cabbage leaves really REALLY help!
20. You do not have to have visitors right after you give birth. You can hole yourself and baby up for a month if you so desire. You're in recovery. Your trying to adjust to having a new baby. You CAN tell people "no"! If you choose to not tell people "no", make a condition of them visiting that they bring you a HOME COOKED meal!
As requested, an IMPORTANT add in!
Before you leave the hospital, STEAL EVERYTHING! The pads, the creams, the blue sheet things they put under you so you don't bleed all over the bed, the baby shirts, the baby blankets (though the blankets require a bit of sneakery), diapers, lotions, shampoo, wipes, formula (if your FFing)... You get the idea... It's all yours anyway! Most of it has already been charged to your insurance (or you personally), so you miht as well take it with you!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sexual Training
In light of a previous post, I got the idea to make one about how one would hypothetically train their husband (or wife, or SO) through the use of sexual rewards. Here it is!
Step one is setting up the reward system. What acts are given for what level of reward. Of course, you can alter the list as you see fit. I've just gathered some generals and placed them where I thought they'd fit.
The Reward System
Low Level Rewards:
• Massage with oils
• Sleep naked
• Steamy Make-Out Session
Mid-Level Rewards:
• Sex in a Non-Typical Location at Home (Kitchen, Stairs, Backyard, etc.)
• Hand Job
• Joint Mastubation with a Toy
• Watch Porn Together
High Level Rewards:
• Anal
• Blow Job
• Bondage
• Sex in a Public Place
After setting up your reward system, you must figure out what type of acts get what level of reward. We're going to assume you have a comlpletely untrained SO. He can't do anything for himself or for you, not even basic chores. I know. Unrealistic, but it will work for this blog.
What Acts Earn What Rewards?
Low Level
• Basic Household Chores - laundry, dishes, sweep/mop
• Suprising you with your favorite treat (flowers, candy, nachos, whatever)
Mid Level
• Randomly giving you the night off
• Placing you above his family with words
High Level
• Placing You Above His Mother (or other family member) With Actions
Ok, so you've made your lists. Let's say it's been a long day at home with the kids. You haven't managed to get dishes done all day. Hubby comes home and, after dinner, washes every dish int he house without being asked!
Thank him for it right away verbally. Tell him you appreciate the help. Then, later, pull out that warming lotion/oil and give him an amazing massage.
If there was no help or, Heaven forbid, complaining about the dishes... he doesn't get anything!
A few days go by. Your MIL calls. She's informed you she's on her way over to visit and expects dinner on the table.
Your husband, in response, says "Great! Can't wait to see you!"
This requires your cooch to dry up and shut down for the next month! He should be punished greatly for this.
Now, if he tells his mother that since this was not planned you will NOT be entertaining her, and you won't even let her in the house... choose a mid-level reward. This is verbal, so only gans mid-level. If possible, give the reward before MIL arrives.
MIL arrives. Your husband caves and lets her in. Cooch dries up.
MIL arrives. Your husband stands by his words... ... ... Fuck his brains out! Hell, do it in the room where MIL will hear it as she stands outside knocking on the door!
Get the idea? Good.
Now... go use those magical vajayjays to conquer the men of the world!
Step one is setting up the reward system. What acts are given for what level of reward. Of course, you can alter the list as you see fit. I've just gathered some generals and placed them where I thought they'd fit.
The Reward System
Low Level Rewards:
• Massage with oils
• Sleep naked
• Steamy Make-Out Session
Mid-Level Rewards:
• Sex in a Non-Typical Location at Home (Kitchen, Stairs, Backyard, etc.)
• Hand Job
• Joint Mastubation with a Toy
• Watch Porn Together
High Level Rewards:
• Anal
• Blow Job
• Bondage
• Sex in a Public Place
After setting up your reward system, you must figure out what type of acts get what level of reward. We're going to assume you have a comlpletely untrained SO. He can't do anything for himself or for you, not even basic chores. I know. Unrealistic, but it will work for this blog.
What Acts Earn What Rewards?
Low Level
• Basic Household Chores - laundry, dishes, sweep/mop
• Suprising you with your favorite treat (flowers, candy, nachos, whatever)
Mid Level
• Randomly giving you the night off
• Placing you above his family with words
High Level
• Placing You Above His Mother (or other family member) With Actions
Ok, so you've made your lists. Let's say it's been a long day at home with the kids. You haven't managed to get dishes done all day. Hubby comes home and, after dinner, washes every dish int he house without being asked!
Thank him for it right away verbally. Tell him you appreciate the help. Then, later, pull out that warming lotion/oil and give him an amazing massage.
If there was no help or, Heaven forbid, complaining about the dishes... he doesn't get anything!
A few days go by. Your MIL calls. She's informed you she's on her way over to visit and expects dinner on the table.
Your husband, in response, says "Great! Can't wait to see you!"
This requires your cooch to dry up and shut down for the next month! He should be punished greatly for this.
Now, if he tells his mother that since this was not planned you will NOT be entertaining her, and you won't even let her in the house... choose a mid-level reward. This is verbal, so only gans mid-level. If possible, give the reward before MIL arrives.
MIL arrives. Your husband caves and lets her in. Cooch dries up.
MIL arrives. Your husband stands by his words... ... ... Fuck his brains out! Hell, do it in the room where MIL will hear it as she stands outside knocking on the door!
Get the idea? Good.
Now... go use those magical vajayjays to conquer the men of the world!
Whorin' It Up!
I ... ... ... am a whore.
Why am I a whore? Well, according to some my "showing thanks" to my husband through sexual acts is very whorish. Thus, I am a whore.
I have a problem with this.
What was that? Oh, you want to know what my problem is. Ok.
Whores get paid. I receive no compensation for those blow jobs. I'm not handed a wad of cash for the sessions of sex. No one pays extra for doggy-style. There's no reimbursement for half the time being shower-sex. And I even clean the sheets afterwards! Yet, I don't get paid.
How can I be a whore if I don't get paid?!
So, I've concluded that "whore" is an inappropriate term.
What about "slut"? Am I a slut, instead?
No. I'm not a slut, either. Slut, while not paid for the services provided, is still not the correct term. I don't sleep with enough people. My husband is my only partner! I can't be a slut if I only have one partner!
Hmmm... What can I possibly be?
... ... ...
... ... ...
... ... ...
Still thinking...
... ... ...
... ... ...
... ... ...
OH I KNOW WHAT I AM!!!
I am my husband's wife! I'm his significant other! I'm his one and only lover!
So I reward my husband with sex. So what? As his lover, is it not my job to keep his needs beyond satisfied?
As his wife, I keep his needs happily sated. As his lover, I find reasons to give him extra. So what if sometimes those reasons are after something he's done that I'm truly thankful for? He's happy, I'm happy, and the house smells like sex an extra couple nights a week!
Though now I'm thinking too much. What if sex really WAS used as a form of reward?! Stay tuned... there will be a post soon!
Why am I a whore? Well, according to some my "showing thanks" to my husband through sexual acts is very whorish. Thus, I am a whore.
I have a problem with this.
What was that? Oh, you want to know what my problem is. Ok.
Whores get paid. I receive no compensation for those blow jobs. I'm not handed a wad of cash for the sessions of sex. No one pays extra for doggy-style. There's no reimbursement for half the time being shower-sex. And I even clean the sheets afterwards! Yet, I don't get paid.
How can I be a whore if I don't get paid?!
So, I've concluded that "whore" is an inappropriate term.
What about "slut"? Am I a slut, instead?
No. I'm not a slut, either. Slut, while not paid for the services provided, is still not the correct term. I don't sleep with enough people. My husband is my only partner! I can't be a slut if I only have one partner!
Hmmm... What can I possibly be?
... ... ...
... ... ...
... ... ...
Still thinking...
... ... ...
... ... ...
... ... ...
OH I KNOW WHAT I AM!!!
I am my husband's wife! I'm his significant other! I'm his one and only lover!
So I reward my husband with sex. So what? As his lover, is it not my job to keep his needs beyond satisfied?
As his wife, I keep his needs happily sated. As his lover, I find reasons to give him extra. So what if sometimes those reasons are after something he's done that I'm truly thankful for? He's happy, I'm happy, and the house smells like sex an extra couple nights a week!
Though now I'm thinking too much. What if sex really WAS used as a form of reward?! Stay tuned... there will be a post soon!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Random Questions
So, I'm bored. It's been a long week dealing with some basement flooding (I live in PA. Between Irene and Lee, we got our asses kicked over here). To entertain myself, I'm going to come up with questions based off of stupid shit I've heard about and then give a response. Let's get started!
Q. Dear Tigre, I'm trying to educate my grandchildren behind my DIL's back. Basically, she leaves the kids in my care and I home school them what I think they should learn without her permission. How do I get her to "see the light" about homeschooling? I want to be their teacher and I believe I can teach them better than any school. ~ Stealthy Homeschooler
Fun Answer - Dear Stealthy... Are you a fucking idiot?! These are NOT your children. They will NEVER be your children. You will NEVER be their mommy! You are just their grandmother. You have no right to be playing teacher without their mother's permission. I hope she catches your ass and never leaves you unsupervised with her children again. Dumb ass... Love, Tigre
Real Answer - Dear Stealthy... As I'm sure you're aware, these are in fact NOT your children. You should not be making decisions concerning their education. That is their mother and father's place. I advise you stop your attempts to homeschool your grandchildren without their mother's permission. I also advise you not attempt to convince your DIL to let you. The end result will be bad for you. If you value your time with your grandkids, you'll follow their mother's wishes. If you do not, be warned you may start seeing them less and less. There is nothing wrong with children attending a school, and it is not your decision to make concerning your grandkids.
Q. Dear Tigre, my son is about to marry some tramp. This bitch is trying to steal my baby boy away from me! How do I get rid of her? She's already turned him against me! I know it's really her deciding everything. My baby would NEVER side with anyone other than me without having been brainwashed! She must have a magic twat! How do I save my son from the powers of her vagazzalings?! Sincerely, Concerned Mommy
FA. Dear Concerned... You're fucked. Sadly for you, your son was sucked into the vortex of the vagazzaling powers. There is no hope. Give up the battle now, before you never see your son and any future grandchildren. Cater to your stbDIL's every whim, lest you find yourself in the blackened void known as "The Black Hole". Love, Tigre
RA. Dear Concerned... Why would you want to change your son? It is apparent you have raised him right if he is placing his stbDW above everyone else. I understand you don't like that you are no longer first in his life, however it would be this way no matter who he married. Your son has become a fine man and seems to know where his priorities should lie as he embarks down a new road in life. Be proud of him. Respect his decisions. Respect your future DIL. Love, Tigre
Q. Dear Tigre, my wife is being a complete bitch! According to her I should be taking her side with everything! She wants me to back her up against my mother! Is she insane?! That's my MOM! Why can't she just STFU and make my mom happy?! Is it really too much to ask to see your grandchildren every weekend? Is it really that bad to have their grandmother watch them while we work, especially when she'll do it for free!? Besides, my mom would NEVER trash-talk my wife! Mom's a fucking saint! I can't believe my wife even accused my mom of calling her a cheap whore! How do I get my wife to knock off her shit and "keep the peace"? Thanks, Mamma's Boy
FA. Dear Mamma's Boy... Please do your wife a favor and file for divorce. Your head must be so far up your mother's vag, I doubt there is any hope for you at all. So, file for divorce. Give your wife custody in all forms, and agree to all her demands come the court dates. It's the only way there will ever be "peace". Don't like that idea? Well, you could always retrieve your balls from your mother (it's amazing you even have kids considering you're sackless) and start supporting your wife. She comes before everyone else. Make her happy. Tell your mom to fuck off. Believe your spouse and cater to your WIFE'S demands. You know? If you're man enough to do so. Love, Tigre
RA. Dear Mamma's Boy... Wow. There are many, many things wrong here. I don't want to suggest your relationship is doomed, however it would seem that way. No, your wife is NOT the one causing the end of your marriage. YOU are. You're allowing your mother to come between you and your wife. Your wife should be placed above your mom in ALL things. Might I suggest marriage counselling for the two of you as a couple? Also, might I suggest individual counselling for yourself to get to the bottom of your "mommy issues"? If you want to save your marriage, then you need to believe, support, and protect your wife. If that means you have to piss off your mother, then you piss off your mother. Love, Tigre
I'm sure I'll come up with more later. The youngest cub is waking up, though, so I must leave you with just those three. Any suggestions for future Q&As?
Q. Dear Tigre, I'm trying to educate my grandchildren behind my DIL's back. Basically, she leaves the kids in my care and I home school them what I think they should learn without her permission. How do I get her to "see the light" about homeschooling? I want to be their teacher and I believe I can teach them better than any school. ~ Stealthy Homeschooler
Fun Answer - Dear Stealthy... Are you a fucking idiot?! These are NOT your children. They will NEVER be your children. You will NEVER be their mommy! You are just their grandmother. You have no right to be playing teacher without their mother's permission. I hope she catches your ass and never leaves you unsupervised with her children again. Dumb ass... Love, Tigre
Real Answer - Dear Stealthy... As I'm sure you're aware, these are in fact NOT your children. You should not be making decisions concerning their education. That is their mother and father's place. I advise you stop your attempts to homeschool your grandchildren without their mother's permission. I also advise you not attempt to convince your DIL to let you. The end result will be bad for you. If you value your time with your grandkids, you'll follow their mother's wishes. If you do not, be warned you may start seeing them less and less. There is nothing wrong with children attending a school, and it is not your decision to make concerning your grandkids.
Q. Dear Tigre, my son is about to marry some tramp. This bitch is trying to steal my baby boy away from me! How do I get rid of her? She's already turned him against me! I know it's really her deciding everything. My baby would NEVER side with anyone other than me without having been brainwashed! She must have a magic twat! How do I save my son from the powers of her vagazzalings?! Sincerely, Concerned Mommy
FA. Dear Concerned... You're fucked. Sadly for you, your son was sucked into the vortex of the vagazzaling powers. There is no hope. Give up the battle now, before you never see your son and any future grandchildren. Cater to your stbDIL's every whim, lest you find yourself in the blackened void known as "The Black Hole". Love, Tigre
RA. Dear Concerned... Why would you want to change your son? It is apparent you have raised him right if he is placing his stbDW above everyone else. I understand you don't like that you are no longer first in his life, however it would be this way no matter who he married. Your son has become a fine man and seems to know where his priorities should lie as he embarks down a new road in life. Be proud of him. Respect his decisions. Respect your future DIL. Love, Tigre
Q. Dear Tigre, my wife is being a complete bitch! According to her I should be taking her side with everything! She wants me to back her up against my mother! Is she insane?! That's my MOM! Why can't she just STFU and make my mom happy?! Is it really too much to ask to see your grandchildren every weekend? Is it really that bad to have their grandmother watch them while we work, especially when she'll do it for free!? Besides, my mom would NEVER trash-talk my wife! Mom's a fucking saint! I can't believe my wife even accused my mom of calling her a cheap whore! How do I get my wife to knock off her shit and "keep the peace"? Thanks, Mamma's Boy
FA. Dear Mamma's Boy... Please do your wife a favor and file for divorce. Your head must be so far up your mother's vag, I doubt there is any hope for you at all. So, file for divorce. Give your wife custody in all forms, and agree to all her demands come the court dates. It's the only way there will ever be "peace". Don't like that idea? Well, you could always retrieve your balls from your mother (it's amazing you even have kids considering you're sackless) and start supporting your wife. She comes before everyone else. Make her happy. Tell your mom to fuck off. Believe your spouse and cater to your WIFE'S demands. You know? If you're man enough to do so. Love, Tigre
RA. Dear Mamma's Boy... Wow. There are many, many things wrong here. I don't want to suggest your relationship is doomed, however it would seem that way. No, your wife is NOT the one causing the end of your marriage. YOU are. You're allowing your mother to come between you and your wife. Your wife should be placed above your mom in ALL things. Might I suggest marriage counselling for the two of you as a couple? Also, might I suggest individual counselling for yourself to get to the bottom of your "mommy issues"? If you want to save your marriage, then you need to believe, support, and protect your wife. If that means you have to piss off your mother, then you piss off your mother. Love, Tigre
I'm sure I'll come up with more later. The youngest cub is waking up, though, so I must leave you with just those three. Any suggestions for future Q&As?
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Respect, Marriage, and Idiocrity
Wow. Two in one day!
It has come to my attention that there are women out there who think it is perfectly fine to flirt and otherwise romantically fraternize with men who are not their spouse. This goes for men, too, only about women.
Seriously?! A great big WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!
I cannot call the woman-child this on the site I saw this on, as it'd be a personal attack... but women like that are tramps. They're sluts who have not YET spread their legs. They're a bane upon the Earth bringing a bad name to women and the sanctity of marriage.
If you are married, you do NOT flirt with other people!
If you are married, you do NOT allow others to make sexual comments to you, about you, unless it's your husband/wife!
If these people continue when you make it clear it is unacceptable (ASSuming you're smart enough to do so), then you remove them from your life!
RESPECT your spouse enough to not flirt with others.
RESPECT your spouse enough to not allow others to flirt and be inappropriate with you.
RESPECT yourself enough to only want your spouse!
RESPECT YOUR FUCKING MARRIAGE!!!
That is all.
It has come to my attention that there are women out there who think it is perfectly fine to flirt and otherwise romantically fraternize with men who are not their spouse. This goes for men, too, only about women.
Seriously?! A great big WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?!
I cannot call the woman-child this on the site I saw this on, as it'd be a personal attack... but women like that are tramps. They're sluts who have not YET spread their legs. They're a bane upon the Earth bringing a bad name to women and the sanctity of marriage.
If you are married, you do NOT flirt with other people!
If you are married, you do NOT allow others to make sexual comments to you, about you, unless it's your husband/wife!
If these people continue when you make it clear it is unacceptable (ASSuming you're smart enough to do so), then you remove them from your life!
RESPECT your spouse enough to not flirt with others.
RESPECT your spouse enough to not allow others to flirt and be inappropriate with you.
RESPECT yourself enough to only want your spouse!
RESPECT YOUR FUCKING MARRIAGE!!!
That is all.
Divided Loyalties
A recent post on a certain advice column shocked me. This particular advice columnist is known for giving "suck it up and take it in the ass you fucking doormat" advice. Recently, however, this person actually gave GOOD advice. She told the woman in need that, since she must make a choice, she should be choosing her husband.
This got me thinking about loyalties and marriage. Not even marriage, perhaps. It is probably more like loyalties when in any kind of a relationship.
If you have a partner - boy/girlfriend, fiance/fiancee, husband/wife, or whatever you may classify your significant other relationship - your loyalties lie with that person. They lie ONLY with that person.
Some examples:
• Dad doesn't like your SO.
- You side with your SO. Dad needs to suck it up and be civil. If dad does not, then you don't see dad. It is not ok to subject your SO to your father's abuse, and you shouldn't reward him by allowing him to visit with you without your SO. You should also expect an apology.
• Your SO claims your mother dumped the bottle you made for your infant because, according to your mother, your SO didn't make it right. Your mother denies this.
- You side with your SO. You believe your SO. Anything less would be telling your SO that he/she is a liar. This results in a lack of trust in the relationship. No trust means no relationship. As for your mother, you should never leave your SO alone with her again lest she pull the same or another stunt to try and drive a wedge between you and your SO. You should also tell her that it is unacceptable to undermine your SO's parenting in any way.
When you enter a relationship, that person becomes number one in your life. Mom, dad, siblings? They all take a back seat to your SO. If they refuse to accept that, then you should start distancing yourself from them. If you leave your loyalties divided, your relationship is guaranteed to have problems. If your loyalties remain divided, or if you side with your FOO, your relationship with deteriorate and ultimately fail.
This got me thinking about loyalties and marriage. Not even marriage, perhaps. It is probably more like loyalties when in any kind of a relationship.
If you have a partner - boy/girlfriend, fiance/fiancee, husband/wife, or whatever you may classify your significant other relationship - your loyalties lie with that person. They lie ONLY with that person.
Some examples:
• Dad doesn't like your SO.
- You side with your SO. Dad needs to suck it up and be civil. If dad does not, then you don't see dad. It is not ok to subject your SO to your father's abuse, and you shouldn't reward him by allowing him to visit with you without your SO. You should also expect an apology.
• Your SO claims your mother dumped the bottle you made for your infant because, according to your mother, your SO didn't make it right. Your mother denies this.
- You side with your SO. You believe your SO. Anything less would be telling your SO that he/she is a liar. This results in a lack of trust in the relationship. No trust means no relationship. As for your mother, you should never leave your SO alone with her again lest she pull the same or another stunt to try and drive a wedge between you and your SO. You should also tell her that it is unacceptable to undermine your SO's parenting in any way.
When you enter a relationship, that person becomes number one in your life. Mom, dad, siblings? They all take a back seat to your SO. If they refuse to accept that, then you should start distancing yourself from them. If you leave your loyalties divided, your relationship is guaranteed to have problems. If your loyalties remain divided, or if you side with your FOO, your relationship with deteriorate and ultimately fail.
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