Random Questions

So, I'm bored. It's been a long week dealing with some basement flooding (I live in PA. Between Irene and Lee, we got our asses kicked over here). To entertain myself, I'm going to come up with questions based off of stupid shit I've heard about and then give a response. Let's get started!



Q. Dear Tigre, I'm trying to educate my grandchildren behind my DIL's back. Basically, she leaves the kids in my care and I home school them what I think they should learn without her permission. How do I get her to "see the light" about homeschooling? I want to be their teacher and I believe I can teach them better than any school. ~ Stealthy Homeschooler

Fun Answer - Dear Stealthy... Are you a fucking idiot?! These are NOT your children. They will NEVER be your children. You will NEVER be their mommy! You are just their grandmother. You have no right to be playing teacher without their mother's permission. I hope she catches your ass and never leaves you unsupervised with her children again. Dumb ass... Love, Tigre

Real Answer - Dear Stealthy... As I'm sure you're aware, these are in fact NOT your children. You should not be making decisions concerning their education. That is their mother and father's place. I advise you stop your attempts to homeschool your grandchildren without their mother's permission. I also advise you not attempt to convince your DIL to let you. The end result will be bad for you. If you value your time with your grandkids, you'll follow their mother's wishes. If you do not, be warned you may start seeing them less and less. There is nothing wrong with children attending a school, and it is not your decision to make concerning your grandkids.



Q. Dear Tigre, my son is about to marry some tramp. This bitch is trying to steal my baby boy away from me! How do I get rid of her? She's already turned him against me! I know it's really her deciding everything. My baby would NEVER side with anyone other than me without having been brainwashed! She must have a magic twat! How do I save my son from the powers of her vagazzalings?! Sincerely, Concerned Mommy

FA. Dear Concerned... You're fucked. Sadly for you, your son was sucked into the vortex of the vagazzaling powers. There is no hope. Give up the battle now, before you never see your son and any future grandchildren. Cater to your stbDIL's every whim, lest you find yourself in the blackened void known as "The Black Hole". Love, Tigre

RA. Dear Concerned... Why would you want to change your son? It is apparent you have raised him right if he is placing his stbDW above everyone else. I understand you don't like that you are no longer first in his life, however it would be this way no matter who he married. Your son has become a fine man and seems to know where his priorities should lie as he embarks down a new road in life. Be proud of him. Respect his decisions. Respect your future DIL. Love, Tigre



Q. Dear Tigre, my wife is being a complete bitch! According to her I should be taking her side with everything! She wants me to back her up against my mother! Is she insane?! That's my MOM! Why can't she just STFU and make my mom happy?! Is it really too much to ask to see your grandchildren every weekend? Is it really that bad to have their grandmother watch them while we work, especially when she'll do it for free!? Besides, my mom would NEVER trash-talk my wife! Mom's a fucking saint! I can't believe my wife even accused my mom of calling her a cheap whore! How do I get my wife to knock off her shit and "keep the peace"? Thanks, Mamma's Boy

FA. Dear Mamma's Boy... Please do your wife a favor and file for divorce. Your head must be so far up your mother's vag, I doubt there is any hope for you at all. So, file for divorce. Give your wife custody in all forms, and agree to all her demands come the court dates. It's the only way there will ever be "peace". Don't like that idea? Well, you could always retrieve your balls from your mother (it's amazing you even have kids considering you're sackless) and start supporting your wife. She comes before everyone else. Make her happy. Tell your mom to fuck off. Believe your spouse and cater to your WIFE'S demands. You know? If you're man enough to do so. Love, Tigre

RA. Dear Mamma's Boy... Wow. There are many, many things wrong here. I don't want to suggest your relationship is doomed, however it would seem that way. No, your wife is NOT the one causing the end of your marriage. YOU are. You're allowing your mother to come between you and your wife. Your wife should be placed above your mom in ALL things. Might I suggest marriage counselling for the two of you as a couple? Also, might I suggest individual counselling for yourself to get to the bottom of your "mommy issues"? If you want to save your marriage, then you need to believe, support, and protect your wife. If that means you have to piss off your mother, then you piss off your mother. Love, Tigre






I'm sure I'll come up with more later. The youngest cub is waking up, though, so I must leave you with just those three. Any suggestions for future Q&As?